Moms are the number 1 expert on guilt, except instead of guilting others we lash out on ourselves.
Am I right? I’m doing it right now as I sit here eating a sandwich typing on my laptop staring at the mountain of laundry that needs to be put away, the stack of books that need to be cleaned up and the many other countless things I should be doing. So trust me when I say I’m a work in progress and you can be too. Sometimes we need to let our kids wear mismatched socks to the park because that’s all they have clean, or ignore the furballs the size of Texas in the corner of our living room because we haven’t vacuumed in a week, and just let it go as Elsa says. I guarantee you that furball will still be there tomorrow and your kid may even like wearing mismatched socks. If you need that day to have fun with your kids or just do nothing at all except stay in your jammies watching movies all day than you deserve that.
I’m always letting the guilt monster take over if we skip a day of curriculum and that is something I’m working on because deep down I know that my four kids are still learning and absorbing information every day, even if that information is that some days you just need to slug around. Us homeschooling mom’s need to be extra easy on ourselves. We can burn out so easily and we can do it without even leaving our own heads. The constant worry that we aren’t doing enough or teaching enough, and comparing what we do to what everyone else is doing is enough to need a lobotomy without even adding on the exhaustion of doing the teaching.
This year my main goal has been to stop comparing our eclectic way of learning to other families out there and I’m still working at this ( does bookshelf envy count? ) but already I’ve felt such a sense of peace. It’s allowed me to notice all the things my kids are accomplishing without me using a checklist from a book of things kids need to know at each grade. My oldest has created her own YouTube channel, her own Etsy shop, started writing a novel with her best friend, made endless art creations and science experiments. She did all of this completely on her own during her free time. My middle son has had a rougher transition into homeschooling but I see the little victories where I can. He is little by little letting go of the school mindset and the more I allow myself to stop feeling guilty for all the things he’s not up to grade level on the more I believe he will grow. My twins never cease to amaze me. They are a true testament to child-led learning. Since they have never attended any public school like my bigs have they’ve always learned organically at their own pace. It’s incredible to watch them learn how to write letters by copying Pokemon cards or teach themselves to read because they wanted to keep reading after bedtime.
What I’m trying to say in all my rambling is that you are doing a great job and you have amazing kids. Don’t let mom guilt keep you from cultivating the relationship you always wanted to have with your kids or from taking the time for self-care that you need. This quote resonates with me so deeply.
” There will be so many times you feel like you’ve failed. But in the eyes, heart, and mind of your child, you are super mom.” Stephanie Precourt
You are super mom even if you spent the day in your pj’s with mountains of laundry and piles of dishes staring at you waiting to be cleaned. You are super mom if you didn’t crack open a textbook today. You are super mom if all you did was tell your kids you love them and spend time with them playing games. You will thank yourself for this much needed time. Now go order a pizza for dinner and don’t you dare feel guilty about it.